More Than a T-Shirt Quilt

SunRae Designs
Jul 23
12 min read

How God Used Two T-Shirt Quilts to Teach Me I Was an Artist

When my journey into quilting first began, I signed up for everything. I did embroidery, long-armed for others, made custom quilts, blankets, and pillows, and t-shirt quilts. After a couple of years, I realized that none of that work was where God was calling me. However, my love for my family and friends still pulled me to making and designing

t-shirt quilts exclusively for them. These two quilts that I am writing about hold a significant value in my life. I am deeply saddened by this opportunity, deeply honored, and forever grateful.

I hope you stay with me throughout this blog, as it's a lengthy read. And after you complete the reading, I hope you feel the peace and love of Christ as you follow along on my journey toward who I was being called to be.

Before I Could Call Myself An Artist

I attended Hancock High School throughout my teenage years, and I had a lot of spirit and loved people, but my self-esteem was intact only on the surface. I had no direction in life after high school and considered nursing or teaching as possible careers. For me, art was not a viable career, and I never saw myself as an artist or a creator. Part of our graduation requirements were to take an art class. And as I approached my tenth-grade year, I started that class. I yearned to be in Mr. Shaw's class. But I had come to believe that only the best artists were in his class. This belief stemmed from the fact that my now-husband was in his class–he was an amazing artist, and still is. So my creativity showed up in my thoughts, crafting a story that I was only here for the required class and not an artist. I completed my art class, with one project impressing me. I could not believe I had actually created it, and I almost

got Nick (the amazing artist and my now-husband) to help me achieve that goal. Fortunately, he did such a great job. And I knew if I turned that in, I would either a) be asked for more, or b) called out for cheating. So I did my own work. Thank God! But I never made it to Mr. Shaw's class or formed a relationship with him. And this was where I thought my creative and artistic journey ended.

Art Was Calling Me Back

My husband and I lost contact after our junior year when he moved to Texas. But after 9.5 years, we reunited. He encouraged the artist in me, the one that had been silently calling out to me my whole life. He reminded me of long-forgotten passions, and he was God's voice. God's voice can be gentle and can come from other people, but never underestimate its power. Shortly after our reuniting, I moved to Texas to begin a life with him. And one Sunday, as we were attending our marriage preparation and Catholic formation class, I noticed a sewing group called The Saintly Stitchers in the bulletin that met every Thursday. When Thursday arrived, my excitement was at an all-time high, and I could not wait to attend The Saintly Stitchers' Group. However, that turned to disappointment when I learned they were a quilting group. I was hoping to learn to sew garments. Man, I am glad God knows best. I immediately fell in love with all things quilting and began exploring all the ways to expand on this love.

The Art Class I Never Took

It was 23 Years after High School, and 11 years after I found quilting. And this year, we traveled back home to celebrate Thanksgiving with family in 2022. While there, my husband learned that one of our favorite bands, Ryan Foret and Foret Tradition, would be performing live at The Fisherman's Wharf in Louisiana. The Wharf is on our way home to Texas. It has a dance hall and a hotel connected to the restaurant, so we booked our stay there. After we checked in, we went to the restaurant for a quick bite before the band started. And as fate would have it, I saw people from my hometown. I excitedly started to converse, and Nick joined in too. As one of the gentlemen told my husband where he lived, Nick was like, "Oh, that's where my art teacher, Mr. Shaw, lives. Do you know him"? Nick had been trying to get back in touch with Mr. Shaw for years. The gentleman replied, "Yes, he is my cousin"! Praise God!! He gave Nick his number, and he called him immediately. They reunited!! It was the coolest thing ever. Once arriving back home, we all started our relationships. Mr. Shaw started following me on Instagram and learned I was a quilter. You know, every time he commented or liked my post, I felt like I had made it! I made it to Mr. Shaw's art class. I sure wish I could have told him that. One day, he reached out to Nick and me and asked if I would make a t-shirt quilt for him and his wife from their Harley-Davidson collection. I, of course, said yes. Then they made a plan to visit us and bring the shirts. Unfortunately, we got the call that plans had changed. They were not coming. After continuing pain, he learned from his doctor that he had pancreatic cancer. The news was overwhelming, and I wept immediately. But Mr. Shaw is light-hearted, and his humor, along with his spirit, caused a reaction in me that did not believe in a terminal fate. I took time for granted, and that heartache will always be. Eventually, we made it to his house to visit and pick up their shirts, but due to my lack of knowledge of how invasive this cancer was and pure naivety, I put other work ahead of his. One day I went to Nick and said, "Alright, I am about to start on their quilts". Shortly after I claimed this, we received a call from his wife. The call let us know that he was no longer with us. The call I still mourn over. The call that is causing tears to form as I type. The call that made me say to myself, "You are unable to deliver his quilt to him. You are unable to tell him how vital he was. You are unable to tell him how God used him and how he didn't even know it." That call was hard on us all.

The T-Shirt Quilt that God Started Speaking Louder With

Mrs. Shaw asked if I could have his quilt ready in a week. The time frame was important and pushed me through pain and out of my comfort zone. The timeline was upon his request to be buried with his quilt. When I learned this, I was frozen with silence. As I reflected in that silence, I felt honor, pain, and resistance. The honor was that I, a once insecure girl who had no belief in herself as a maker or artist of any kind and who desperately wanted to be one of Mr. Shaw's art students, was making the quilt he would be laid to rest with. Wow, God is amazing. The pain and resistance came from the longing to hold onto his quilt, the longing to hold onto his physical shirts, the ones he wore, the ones that would create warmth and memories every time they were touched or viewed. But that resistance was not mine to carry. I had to let God take it and cherish him wanting to be buried with his quilt. All of the pain and resistance turned into beauty and gratefulness. So I said yes, I can complete his quilt in that time frame, and went to work. The emotions while making the quilt were real. The blood, sweat, and tears that were a part of this quilt were real. I had not experienced that before. Crying while sewing and going through the pain of regret was difficult. Mr. Shaw was such a great person, and I was mad at myself for taking time for granted. But I needed to finish the quilt, so I had to work through the pain. His wife gave me complete creative control, so I allowed the quilt, my husband, and God to decide its path. I completed the quilt in less than a week, and we headed to Mississippi.

More Than a Quilt Photo Shoot

As a modern quilter, capturing our quilts digitally seems to be part of the process. I knew I wanted to capture more than just the quilt. I wanted to capture Mr. Shaw. Once we arrived in MS, I called a friend for help with this. I was scheduled to drop the quilt off in Picayune, MS, by noon, and that is where my friend is from. She mentioned a car mural, and I thought that would be perfect, as one of his many interests was cars. I asked about Harley-Davidson possibilities, and she knew of none. But fortunately, God did. As my husband and I were snapping shots by the mural, he noticed an interesting building. I thought it went perfectly with the quilt. So we made our way to the old rustic building. And wouldn't you know there were Haley Davidson's signs in the window. All I could do was laugh and cry. What the heck! This was perfect. It was a feeling I will never forget. I was moved beyond words. Once again, God was using my husband to reveal the artist in me. Because after that gentle nudge, I was on fire. We moved around from spot to spot snapping shots. With each location bringing on the feeling of Mr, Shaw teaching my husband and me. Because on top of being an amazing artist, Mr. Shaw was also a spectacular photographer and musician. We were led to places where we could capture the quilt with all of his interests. I had never felt more alive or more full while photographing quilts. My spirit came alive, and all I have to thank is God, my husband, and Mr. Shaw. Handing the quilt off was emotional. It was the last time I felt I would hug him and hang out with him. But once again I am glad God knew different.

The Service

His service was closed casket except for family and close friends. We were a part of that close friend group. And as I looked down on him, covered in his quilt, I could not believe this was real. The agony was real, along with the honor. I felt stuck in a paradox between sadness and joy, gratitude and bitterness, thankfulness and shame. It was hard. But in the end, Mr. Shaw was there, and he left behind a legacy that many of us don't. It was a pleasure to catch up with my classmates, teachers, and family. I never knew my Aunt and Uncle were close with Mr. Shaw, and that he held a special place in their lives as well. Mr. Shaw was honored and buried with a full Catholic Mass by the same priest who married my husband and me. Rest In Peace, Mr. Shaw

The Day I Called Myself an Artist

I did not start on Mrs. Shaw's quilt straight away. That would begin 9 months after Mr. Shaw's delivery. But God's timing has great value. As Catholics, we are encouraged to seek the wisdom of the Saints and to call upon those who have lived this life and have chosen Jesus in all they do. As I began her quilt, my Catholic journey had deepened even further than it had with Mr. Shaw's quilt. During our visit with them to pick up their shirts, Mr. Shaw shared that Mrs. Shaw had a love for Native American culture and its aesthetics. I chose to seek the guidance of Saint Kateri Tekakwitha for design help, and boy did I feel her presence. I usually stick to the same general design path when creating t-shirt quilts. But Mr. Shaw's pulled me out of that, and Saint Kateri Tekakwitha pulled me further. I received so many compliments on this quilt. From very unexpected people. I knew it was because of Saint Kateri Tekakwitha. After I finished the quilt top, it was time to longarm. I love picking pantographs, but I was stumped on this one. Mrs. Shaw gave me creative freedom again, but I was not quite sure I could accept it fully. Saint Kateri Tekakwitha was known as the Lily of the Mohawks, and I thought, lilies might be nice. However, this was a Harley-Davidson Quilt, and even though I was seeking Saintly guidance, something was gently nudging me, saying lilies might not be the right choice. So, after talking with my husband and hearing his agreement with the gentle nudge I was receiving, I decided to ask Mrs. Shaw for her preference. I sent her the same pantograph design as Mr Shaw's, along with the lilies to choose from. I didn't give her an explanation for the lilies because I wanted her choice to be hers and not something I was influencing. Secretly, I hoped this flower represented something special between her and Mr Shaw (this is the hopeless romantic in me). She chose the same beautiful pantograph that was on her husband's quilt. I would be lying if I didn't say I wasn't sad over this. I really wanted the lilies in this quilt, but forcing something that's not meant to be is not the design. But God likes to show up in little ways that create big movements. As I was deciding what to write on the label, I felt confident that I wanted only their names and wedding date written on one of his shirts, but I didn't know how to add a creative element. I was seeking inspiration when I found what I thought I liked. I was practicing the design on paper when all of a sudden a lily came to mind. The lily found its place. But now a new problem: I had to draw it. I had to draw it with permanent ink. And I had to draw it on Mr. Shaw's t-shirt. This was huge for me. This was very scary for me, and this was not something I believed I could do. But once again I allowed the gentle nudge to create big movements. During my practice time, my daughter and her boyfriend walked into my quilting room and saw my work. Her boyfriend was shocked at what I drew, and my daughter was full of encouragement. And even with God showing up through them, I still lacked confidence. I decided to use transfer paper to trace over the lily I drew the best and transfer it onto Mr. Shaw's t-shirt. This idea brought immediate relief. But as fate would have it, when I picked up the transfer paper, there was nothing left behind. Drawing the lily was the only option. God was again giving gentle nudges to pull me out of my comfort zone and create big changes. As it was time for me to "go for it," my daughter and boyfriend left my quilting room, leaving behind their encouraging words. I took some deep breaths, and then I felt as though Saint Kateri Tekakwitha said, "You are an artist and I felt peace. I then focused on Mr. Shaw, my art teacher, and on my husband, who teaches and encourages me every day, and I drew the lily. I drew the lily! This might be small to some, but it was not small to me. I drew the lily, and God claimed artist over me. That left a mark on me that only God can reveal. When my husband arrived home from work, I was so excited to show him my drawing. But my excitement dwindled because although he loved the quilt, he didn't seem that moved by the label. Later, I brought it up again and told him how difficult this drawing was for me. That's when he shared that he thought it was part of the t-shirt design. He did not think that was my drawing! I did not think it was mine either. And in a way, I still don't. Without God, Saint Kateri Tekakwitha, my husband, and Mr. Shaw, this drawing would not have been possible. Through this journey, I still do not see myself as an artist, nor would I call myself that in public. But in God we are all artists. It's through his creativity that we can create. Be an artist in all that you do, seek his guidance, and let your work reflect him. When you are making, creating, laboring, serving, or anything in between, claim artistry over yourself and your work.

Because it's like Pope St. John Paul II wrote in his Letter to Artists:

"Not all are called to be artists in the specific sense of the term. Yet everyone has the task of crafting his own life into a work of art."

Calling Yourself by the Title God Gave You

If you lack direction, turn to God. For in his little nudges, big things can happen. This phrase I will continue to hold near. I will continue to share it and continue to seek it. The way God used normal, everyday life encounters to replace my insecurities with his love, grace, and direction is a desire I know he wants for all of us. Listen to the gentle nudges. Pray that God's voice gets so loud that you can't hear the one that speaks doubt. Allow his gentle nudges to create big movements. It's not going to be easy, but it will be beautiful.

Happy Quilting and Happy Seeking,

Love,

Amber Foret